RuuD'S POETRY CRIB

Loving thoughts of you

2011-12-03T04:36:00.003+01:00

Till the day roses are no longer red and violets, blue...
Dogs don't bark, cats don't mew...
And in the harmattan skies there is no dew,
My heart will be filled always with loving thoughts of you!

Moonlighting strangers...

2011-12-02T05:16:00.006+01:00

As long as we choose to be so,
shadowed, unopen hearts,
feelings true stoppered in stifles,
permitted not to revel wild and free...

As long as the stares are insensate and blank,
blinds drawn across the only windows to beyond,
leaving the tears to swell within
and cracks on these fragile walls...

As long as love is not returned in kind,
and pride stands out front like a shimmering shield,
these grounds continually repel cession,
moonlighting strangers we remain...

Everyday I wish...

2011-11-06T12:06:00.001+01:00

Wish you near,
Wish away your every fear,
Wish you show some care,
Wish your days are mine to share,
Wish you see into my heart's bare,
Wish all murky be forever clear,
Wish you bold to take this dare,
Wish your's is the love to light my eternal flare!

Pretty eyes...

2011-11-06T11:45:00.004+01:00

Oh ‘em pretty eyes,
First glimpse caught a at the train station,
Silently they beckoned,
Tendrils of a plea,
Come to me...
Take away this lonesome...
Be the love I seek...
Say you are the man to make me complete...
But fear clasped my feet,
Chained its walls was my tongue,
And just like it never was,
The moment passed.
In regret I look back and long
And in my head the question rages on,
Will I ever see those pretty eyes again!?

Miss you so...

2011-10-05T17:30:00.003+01:00

Why do I miss you so,
Far apart or a stone's throw,
Feelings like an arrow without a bow,
A farmer in the fields with no hoe...

How come you never know,
That in my heart you leave an undeniable glow,
Joy whiter than the purest snow,
And your silence is a fatal blow...

What would it take to show,
Make you see the seeds in me you sow,
Each passing day how they grow,
So much that now I can bear not to see you go...

As long as you are happy (I am happy too)

2011-10-04T16:15:00.002+01:00

I will watch you walk away,
Brow beat yet barely furrowed,
But as long as you dance with glee,
I am happy too...

The pain in my heart swells to fill a gulf
And the chasm widens with every beat,
But as long as there is that big smile on your face,
I am happy too...

At night in my bed I shrivel,
Wrapped by cold, lonely and despair,
But soon as I think of you in warmth,
I am happy too...

In my heart she still resides

2011-04-28T18:50:00.000+01:00

Wished on Urania I did,
And wisdom was bestowed me,
Off came the scales,
Love divine conjured by a whisper,
I held her hands, touched her hair,
Felt the rough edges on her face,
Slept in the warmth of her embrace
And for once I knew…

Compared with her riches held nothing,
All gems the world over couldn’t peer,
In her face all gold is but a mere salt pinch,
At her feet, silver ranked par with muck,
Diamonds, rubies were mere rocks daily trod by foot,
Verges and thrones vestige of distant relics…

I loved her to death,
No thought for detriment or health,
For inside and out,
Her radiance never sleeps,
Always alive with a beauty unmatched,
Neither the moon’s luminescence,
Nor the star’s glistering sparkles,
Could cast a shadow of doubt upon…

In her presence only good I see
And all good things are mine,
At her hands, a cornucopia of delights,
Abundance devoid of numbers,
Green as the land where plenty is norm,
Where peace reigns and looms large
And at heart, again I become bairn…

Sadly now, she is no more,
And all that I’d known only in pages,
Gone like the strewn leaves from autumn trees,
Far off in places I only dream to reach,
A life I can barely dare to live,
But in my heart she still resides.

Come back again...

2011-04-28T18:23:00.004+01:00

You love me then leave,
far off and miles to walk,
still I come back again...

you let me in,
then turn around to close me out,
still I come back again...

you feed me crumbs,
ground in tatters, bits and pieces,
still I come back again...

You hide behind that mask impassive,
while my emotions run and go to waste,
still I come back again...

You lift me high to the heavens,
then douse the flames in icy cold jets,
still I come back again...

No longer do I see my angel,
but blinded I am and love the more I feel,
so still I come back again...

I try...

2011-02-26T09:00:00.003+01:00

I try my best,
God knows I do,
to be again the man from the beginning,
bring back the times of rosiness
and stakes touching the earth...
I try from my heart,
the Angels can testify this,
but this isn't the beginning
and you, not the girl from then,
rosy days are now covered in frost,
stakes raised far to lofty, dizzying heights...
Still I try with what might left,
waves return to kiss shore again,
the moon dances complete round to zero,
if dead bones have risen,
love gone awry can yet blossom,
so...again and again, I try!

What more to do...

2010-10-26T00:04:00.001+01:00

it hurts bad,
and i feel so very sad,
but there's room not to be mad,
neither recluse like a precluded quad,
so i play the good ol' jolly lad
give that look of old, worn fad,
slight not even just a tad,
for love sometimes is hard,
harsher than a game of gambler's card,
on board you can win a steamy bowl of lard,
or lose a hefty stash of wad,
in the end its up to you and what you had,
see what robes your luck's clad,
be it whole, splinter or shard,
take stock & make it meriting gloomy or glad.

Longing for you...

2010-10-25T23:36:00.004+01:00

I long for you...
your silence,
deep and full of tranquil,
when hearts concord,
commute to heights undefined,
mysticism more than the puzzle of science
beauty beyond the finest offerings of art.

I long for you...
your place,
bodies shared with the heavens,
breaking bread in the presence of celestials,
couched in the bosom of untainted peace,
bliss in tufts of ever infinitesimal
yet overly suffice than a lifetime of riches.

I long for you...
your moments,
rocked to the soothing symphony of passion,
infinite measures of joy and free,
cradled in the bounds of your warmth,
far and above this world's every torments,
be it minuscle drops or deluges.

Final Destination

2010-10-25T23:11:00.001+01:00

i will smile and say "congratulation"
maybe even feign elation,
dip into my pocket, dole out a handsome donation
but like a wiltering carnation,
all i truely feel is frustration,
my heart brinks on immeasurable consternation
in face a future of damnation,
the rocking inertia of static flotation,
emptiness borne of hunger and starvation,
still i stand to the end a loyal decoration
while you dance to your royal coronation,
away and away from me is your final destination.

Untitled

2010-06-30T05:37:00.004+01:00

Not that to you it'd matter,
here I am bowed, bent fevered from your batter
at your feet see how my world shatter,
like rose petals on a windy street scatter,
what's left of my weary heart needing a garter,
the lifeless remnants of an ever deepening crater,
yet still you feed me words of bare flatter,
all my love served on gold and silver platter,
and the passion I breathe you take as if for barter,
quell with a hold no more dear than mere charter,
cast offs from all that is cheer and brighter,
bow I will to your whims like a waiter,
and heed some to the otiose chatter
but succumb to the belligerent ira of a hater
not mine to espouse for I cling to far greater...

How is it...

2010-06-29T18:25:00.003+01:00

How is that she is a flash, here & then nowhere,
the surreal prize only for sight nay fingers probe...
How is that she sees embers of desire glow,
but cohere to the blind of doubt, despair & dare...
How is it that she be so enchantingly hale,
kneading d meekness down to d point of irresistible cede...
How is that she seduces my senses,
furtive sousing made out as torrents of joy on the back of pain...
How is that she lets me through but an infinitesimal peek,
just beyond to trace paths but never to reach the shores of her heart...
How is it that she speaks volumes, those words of charms,
and drought my breathe, seize what power of hearing in slow ebbs...
How is that she is in one the moon, sun & stars,
yet I beside be hooded dark in the veil of her presence...
How is it that she plays my heart on a string,
contrasts enshrined in a haze of sweet ambiguity...
How is that she holds me captive in a dream,
lorn hope ever eternal iterated to no end...
How is it that she makes deception a beautiful dance,
truths, lies; the same much more in essence not actual reality...
How is that she leaves me the feel of idyllic scorn,
and yet deeper in love I descend helplessly still...

One Heartbeat...

2010-06-29T18:11:00.003+01:00

Our journey to the other,
strange, unique as only we can say,
soulmates we sought,
soulmates we've found,
in our hearts and Eden beyond...
Today we move a step towards heaven,
fulfilling the promise of love,
reaching the summit of ultimate bliss,
together a fresh song on a new page,
the rediscovery of strength by bond,
be as one heartbeat till eternity.

The point of no return…

2010-03-25T18:37:00.001+01:00

Sins have outshined deeds of good
And memories serve up the unpleasant,
Scars of dried, purpled bruises
And then exacerbated to deep wounds
Elastic is time; back it swayeth,
And today resiles to a strained yesterday,
Everything sad and unsavory slough into light,
Waters will run dry and close,
Patience is drained to the height of exhaustion,
Forbearance has lost the will to wait.
When truth is not enough
And tears cannot wipe clean the slate of wrongs,
Importune arouses all but sympathy
And when not to forgive is the most divine,
The road is long with path of thorns,
Your cry loud, thunders and storms,
But thereon, it is the point of no return.

Falling down…

2010-03-25T18:13:00.000+01:00

You’ll see the writing on the wall,
But yetnever make out the words…
You’ll hear the whispers in the winds,
But yet never understand the voices…
You’ll walk the tunnel’s length,
But yet never reach light…
You’ll never know,
But yet it’s falling down.

Shadow of a smile…

2010-03-25T16:37:00.002+01:00

That wan look,
The lost look of love,
Frozen in time like a wasp trapped in amber…
A smile of fond memories
With a touch of longing regrets,
Abound when a man reminisces,
Journey's back and loses himself in thoughts
about a certain woman,
An absentee still with the vitals,
One who’d given something dear
But now holds far off,
Something that cost even more…

I get along…

2010-03-25T16:34:00.002+01:00

I get along very well without you,
Of course I do…
Except when soft rains falls
And drums on my window panes,
Then I recall the warmth of your arms,
The shelter of your embrace
And the joy of having home,
Of course I do,
I get along very well without you…

Losing you…

2010-01-12T21:23:00.000+01:00

I’m by your side yet eons away,
Eerie vibes of unusual rhythms echo off the walls,
Staring into familiar, yet strange new eyes…
A puzzling deviation from the envisioned,
Those gray veils cast over your thoughts,
A becoming different from impressions,
The vacant and distant look,
And smiles of false care…
I can glimpse it on the horizon,
It looms ominous like the faint streak of dawn,
A kindling of strewn ash,
Overtones of a fading beat,
Lower with each chord,
The slow drone of steady whispers,
Meant for ears not mine
And so I know,
Something, somewhere else is winning…

Night on the eve of xmas...

2009-12-28T19:03:00.000+01:00

At night, on the eve of xmas
I look into the eyes of the sky,
And thrust into an orphan’s embrace,
In kingdoms lost and unforeseen,
Skirting the shorelines of memory,
To the early footsteps of a painful path,
From the light of hope to murky gloom,
Words that reverberated like ship-bells,
Distant wisps on a fog-laden sea,
Tendrils of a transition there to present,
Flood like silent water cascades…
At night, on the eve of xmas,
It returns as it always was… always been,
Hanging there again for me to see,
Slowly from behind long drawn shades,
The coda of our unfinished symphony,
Always returning,
At night, on the eve of xmas.

Love leaves...

2009-12-28T18:37:00.002+01:00

Frozen, wintry laughter,
Wrought, false and dry,
Golden amulets of teardrops,
Crisp and cold,
Break down in minuscules
And run runnel,
Flitting the scape,
Down the napes into capes,
Cleft between sadness and joy,
Threnodies and carols,
A silent bleeding,
For at first crack,
The reindeers trudge on home,
And tonight, love leaves...

I adore you always mi Amor…

2009-11-14T17:59:00.000+01:00

Tis’ deeply rooted feelings in my core,
And everyday it grows even more,
With you life’s never a bore,
One second without and I go sore,
Some people live it like its war,
Filled with moments of gloom and dour,
For others time is but a blur,
Laboring forth slowly like a slur,
In their faces always a shut door,
But you give me more sweetly than sour,
To my heart, a welcome spring thaw
And only you I live and die for,
I adore you for always mi Amor…

Rue Blues...

2009-11-14T08:29:00.001+01:00

Think and think about that night,
was it the chance to make it right?
vesture the shining armour and be the knight?
but the stage was left for fright,
and a missed waltz to hold tight,
passed away in loss without a fight,
leave darkness put out the anthesis of light.

Now sails is set and take flight,
gliding oblivion like a shadowed kite,
distant clouds begin to blur with the sight,
straight course transformed to bight,
a journey neither can alight,
where purview slowly is none the bright.

Honesty demanded my every might,
deep inside a heart snow white,
crossed in a platter of plight,
and i know tis' eternally my blight,
cuz instead i gave a no more than a widows mite.

Forever yours…

2009-10-02T11:19:00.001+01:00

You moved slowly,
Patiently watching and waiting,
Never rushing, never insisting,
Held my hands
And walked by my side,
True commitment in every step
A pillar of strength at bleary times,
Inspiration in the forlorn days,
Extra shoulders to carry life’s wonted burdens,
The pool that dammed stream of fears…
That’s why, I’m forever yours…

To let go…

2009-10-02T11:16:00.000+01:00

It’s so hard to let go love thought held,
Ever so hard to give it up after it’s gone,
Even more so when it’s straight from the depths
And letting go is the only way out,
The only path to release from the debilitating pain…
Time will stand in place,
And the world, cease to turn
You will watch the distance to that back stretch,
Beyond imaginary groping fingers
Away from the beats of your heart
And the drench from the swirling pool of tears
It’s hard… always so hard to let go!

POETRY OF THE LONELY…

2009-10-02T11:13:00.001+01:00

Sorrow fills the heart,
Like the slow spread of poisonous venom,
Pain is persistent,
like an insatiable hunger refusing to be quenched.
Burning embers of passion lay in the depths of the soul,
like rare artifacts waiting to be unearthed.
the soul hopelessly searches for a mate,
like a lost sheep in acres of barren land.
the being is incomplete'
like the sky without the stars,
Spirit so low down,
like a sunken ship in the ocean deeps.
Body longs for the warmth of loving touch,
like the earth thirsts for rain in the dry season.
the heart is like a lost and forgotten island,
just waiting...
waiting to be discovered,
waiting to love and be loved!

Be my all…

2009-09-22T18:22:00.000+01:00

Take my hand,
Lead me across these waters
Bring the calm,
Stall these rapid swarms
And drifting torrents that storm
Hold me aloft,
Up and above this sweltering river of pain,
This cascade of pelt
And a future in drown.
Touch my soul,
Fill it with magic,
Bathe it in warmth,
Coat it with love.
Take away my every yearn,
Dull this throbbing ache,
And mend this broken heart.
Bring back the light,
Illuminate the path,
Be my guide,
Lead me aright,
Be my refuge,
The pillar of all my strength,
Be my all…
All I need,
All I’ll ever need!

Love leaves...

2009-09-22T18:07:00.001+01:00

Passionless…

2009-08-02T14:18:00.001+01:00

An icicle in blistering sunshine,
Drop by drop, melting away,
Yielding slowly with every wave,
But intent on focus,
Defiant in the steady heat,
Not to be felt or reached,
Stock still, wide teary gaze,
Far off and crazed,
Piercing hate into the stifling dark,
Just a lifeless furrow on the surface,
Resigned to an unsavory faith,
Dead, inside and out!

Giving in...

2009-08-02T14:14:00.000+01:00

This wait's been infinitude
I toiled long and hard to get here,
gave my heart on a silver platter,
strode by your side years and on,
sold my soul to buy your time,
kept faith and stayed true blindly.
Now,
the fight's against me,
bleeding your way for inspiration,
anything to keep that flame burning,
for a reason to stand,
wrestle this scourge feeding inside.
But each today's more shattering than before,
and tomorrow promises no less than more...
these hands and limbs are weary and numb,
head and shoulders drooped with the age
eyes teary and blurred
and they tell me its time...
time to give in!

Three Years on...

2009-07-20T07:10:00.001+01:00

Three years on and I still feel it,
The words come back in a piece and bit,
My heart’s still hollow,
Deeps run shallow,
All the way down to the marrow,
Eternally, tis’ now like a vice,
For thine memories still locks me in a vise …
Rains have come,
And storms long gone,
Thought I’d seen it all,
Standing strong and tall,
Seein’ out the darkness of the nightfall,
Heard the healing balm of Venus’ call,
Above the dirge of your pall,
But three years on and I still feel bit
Like I’ve only just been hit …
You still stop my heartbeat,
Make my pulse rise and heat,
Still sweep me off my feet …
Three years on and you still fill my every thoughts’
And like t’was on that cold, cold night,
I still feel the hurt...

My love, my life…

2009-07-19T15:40:00.001+01:00

It’s so hard to let go,
So hard to give in,
But when love decides to leave,
Choice leaves only one open dooe.
Today is the longest day of my life,
The saddest moments of my existence,
Standing here watching you walk away,
Knowing that we’ve come to the end of the road,
Tears me up inside,
Bleeds me poor ol’ heart dry
And suicidal thoughts push to end the misery…
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for another chance,
A second bite of love’s unfermented cherry,
For a re-run of all ‘em glorious memories made,
Sweet and sour…
Grating and gratifying…
I lie here pained, dying from grief,
Discordant chimes of reflections inside,
Yet still betrothed to you soul and spirit,
I still love you more than words can say,
So much that even bitterness hath no room
And anger’s fire is smoldered by age-long affections…
Pray! You may leave as your heart desires,
Smitten as I am,
I cannot hold you back,
Or fight that which I cannot see or be,
You’re a prized possession that hath the freedom to fly
And fly as you please you shall…
I pray God bless you as you go,
My wish for you wherever you go is,
That your dreams stay big,
Your worries small,
And you never have to carry more than you can bear,
No matter what becomes of you
Or indeed I,
You hold a special place in my heart,
Eternally filled with the cornucopia of gifts you gave,
Protected with the fervency of a lover’s jealousy
A place that can never be touched by anyone,
Because always and forever you are,
My love, my life…

Forever yours…

2009-07-19T13:39:00.002+01:00

You moved slowly,
Patiently watching and waiting,
Never rushing,
never insisting,
Held my hands
Walked by my side,
True commitment in every step,
A pillar of strength at bleary times,
Inspiration in the forlorn days,
Extra shoulders to carry life’s wonted burdens,
The pool that dammed my every tear…
That’s why, I’m forever yours…